First Date Clues She’s a Good Woman
So here’s your POV.
You’re on a first date and you’re the first one to get there.
You’re sitting at the table of the restaurant, coffee shop, or bar, looking at the door and waiting for her to walk in.
What should you be looking for from the moment she arrives in to paying the check and leaving that will tell you she is a good woman?
Gentlemen, that is the topic of article.
Lately I’ve been on a bit of a spree of dating with many many first dates and from this experience I’ve learned to recognize patterns and behaviors that will likely indicate whether or not she is a good candidate for me, or for a gentleman like yourself.
At first, some of these signs might seem superficial or shallow, but they actually reveal deeper things about her personality and her background that you ought to consider. So here is the first thing to look for in a woman on a first date.
Is she wearing a dress?
100% of my first dates that have led to second dates have turned up wearing a dress.
My type of woman is a classy, feminine woman and typically, they don’t turn up wearing jeans or trousers to a dinner date. Now, they don’t have to be wearing a ‘dress’, it could be a different type of elegant outfit, but what they are wearing must show some level of effort. After all, that’s the standard I hold myself to.
On most first dates, I will wear a suit and tie, much like I am today, so if she is wearing jeans, she isn’t my type of woman and we’re not going to look good together.
You can normally predict how a date is going to go in the first 90 seconds, and what she wears forms a big part of your first impression. So if she hasn’t made the effort with her clothing, makeup, and hair to make a good first impression, that shows a negative attitude on her part.
I don’t expect women to get dolled up to the nines on a date like it’s their wedding day, but they need to meet your standards and your preferences for physical presentation.
Manners and decorum
Eva Marie Saint in North by Northwest (1959, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer)
It amazes me the number of women who cannot sip their drink without spilling it down themselves.
You’re looking for a woman with class, dignity, and grace. Someone who can represent you and you can be proud of.
A small action like spilling a drink or holding a wine glass incorrectly might not seem like a big deal but they are signs that she is not well-versed in social etiquette.
“You’re looking for a woman with class, dignity, and grace. Someone who can represent you and you can be proud of. ”
Unless you’re willing to teach her, she’s probably not the right candidate for a gentleman.
You should also pay attention to her table manners, how she uses her knife and fork, and if she speaks to the wait staff, is she nice or is she rude?
Bear in mind, gentlemen, that she is also paying attention to how you do these things, so be sure to be on good form.
Conversation
Conversation is the most important thing on a date, along with attraction.
How much you enjoy talking to each other will form a huge part of your compatibility and it’s essential for building rapport and chemistry, which I’ll come to in a moment.
So, does she ask questions about you?
How does she respond when you share something that’s important to you, or perhaps deep and personal?
How does she respond when you ask her questions?
Does she give one word answers or can she open up?
Is she able to have an intellectual conversation, or does she only talk about Netflix, star signs, and Trader Joe’s?
Is there laughter and a feeling of connection?
These are all important things to look for.
I’ll be honest with you. I recently went on three dates with this one woman before I realized, wait a minute, I don’t think she knows anything about me!
Our conversations had all revolved around her, and to be honest, she was a lot younger and I think she was just lacking the emotional maturity to be a good partner for me.
Good conversation is important not only to enjoy the date, but it shows that she has the potential to be a good communicator in a relationship.
There are also non-verbal signs of communication that you should look for during the date. Does she make eye contact with you, does she seem present and engaged?
And during the conversation, take a mental note of things she tells you that may be considered warning signs, or red flags.
For example, are all of her exes ‘crazy’?
Does she have a terrible relationship with her family?
These are clues that she might have personal problems that she has not yet addressed.
“ Some women come with their own warning labels. It’s your job to read them.”
To give you an example, I recently went on a date with a woman who had two car accidents the week prior to our date.
Two accidents in one week!
Some women come with their own warning labels, and you should take the time to read them.
Chemistry
Eva Green eyes up Daniel Craig in Casino Royale (2006, EON Productions)
There’s a lot more to attraction than physical beauty and good conversation.
You can think a woman is very pretty and beautiful and greatly enjoy talking with her, yet still not feel that overwhelming desire and excitement to see her again.
That X Factor is what we call chemistry.
I urge men to be more intune with this and pay more attention to the levels of chemistry they feel before taking things further with a woman.
If you don’t feel chemistry with her, it doesn’t mean she isn’t a good woman, but it does mean she isn’t a good fit for you.
Chemistry and attraction can build over time, but when in the early stages of dating, it’s something I always look for, and unfortunately, it’s rather hard to find.
On the majority of dates I go on, I do not feel this level of chemistry, and it’s probably the most frustrating part of dating to be honest.
The check
So we’re coming to the end of the date and it’s time to pay the bill.
The way she responds to the check will tell you a lot about her and what kind of girlfriend she would be.
There are typically three responses you will encounter.
She leaves you to pay the check and says thank you
She offers to split the check
She does not acknowledge the bill at all and does not say thank you
You’re looking for either the first or second response.
If she does offer to split, I still encourage you to pay, but what we’re looking for here is to see that she is appreciative.
Even if she is a ‘traditional’ woman who expects you to pay, there is nothing traditional about ingratitude.
I cannot imagine going to a restaurant and someone else paying for my meal, in any context, without saying thank you. But in dating, it’s not a rare occurrence.
So, I think the standard response you can expect is that she will leave you to get the check and say, ‘Thank you,I enjoyed the meal,’ but it’s a nice gesture if she offers to pay.
In fact, it makes me only all the more happy to pay the check because I know she appreciates it.
Gentlemen, I want to hear from you in the comments what signs you look for on a first date?
And if you are a married man, I would love to hear a story about your early dating experiences with your wife when she did something that really impressed you, or made you realize that she was the one.
Also let me know if you would like to see another article in which I discuss the qualities a gentleman should look for in a woman with whom he wants to have a serious relationship or marriage.
We can get into a deeper discussion about the values and characteristics that you should look for.
I’m talking about communication skills, political beliefs, ideas about family, career, and even, you guessed it, their sense of style.
