10 Little Things Only a Gentleman Does

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I’ve written before about the values a gentleman should hold - honesty, dignity, kindness etc.

But what about the little actions, the small steps, that you can take now to become a gentleman.

As Aristotle said, ‘We are what we repeatedly do,’ so in today’s article, I want to share with you 10 original suggestions for how you can be a gentleman. 

These are ideas that will ensure you are remembered as a gentleman by everyone you encounter. 

I - Help her with her seatbelt

The first little thing that only a gentleman does is help a woman with her seatbelt. 

When you are driving, make sure that everyone has their seatbelt on before driving off. 

If you are in an Uber or taxi, help your girlfriend or an elderly woman such as your grandma with her seatbelt before fastening your own. 

“She said it was something no man had ever done for her before - which is exactly the kind of thing you want to hear.”

Seatbelts can be tricky, especially for elderly people, so it’s both a practical help and a nice gesture. 
I decided to include this on my list because a previous girlfriend told me how much she appreciated the way I always helped her with her seatbelt. 

She said it was something no man had ever done for her before - which is exactly the kind of thing you want to hear.

II - Send handwritten letters

Another rare yet much appreciated gesture that a gentleman can make is to send handwritten notes and letters. 

Because everyone now uses email, text, and instant messaging, a handwritten letter is the best way to show someone how much your words truly mean. 

Be a true gent and put pen to paper

If you have a good fountain pen with a signature ink and personalized stationery, that’s even better, but it’s really not necessary. 

Just the act of putting pen to paper and delivering it by hand or by mail is enough to win you a special place in someone’s heart. 

Handwritten notes aren’t just for your love interest. Send letters to your relatives, friends, and business associates, and watch your personal relationships blossom.

III - Offer guests a drink

Growing up, I observed how my parents would always offer any guests a cup of tea or coffee, or an alcoholic drink if it were the evening. 

Whether it was their neighbor, a plumber, or their brothers and sisters, offering their guest a drink was one of the first things they did after they came through the door.

Cheers to good hosting!

When I became an adult, I was surprised to find out that not everyone does this. 

And I’m disappointed to say that among my generation, this gesture of hospitality has particularly fallen by the wayside. 

So always offer your guests a drink when they arrive, even if it’s a handyman or tradesman who is coming to your home to do work. 

It does not have to be an alcoholic drink, but you should stock a variety of options like tea, coffee, and soda. Unless they specifically ask for it, only having water to offer is not good hospitality.

IV - Give a thoughtful gift

We all know that it’s polite to give a gift when it’s someone’s birthday or you’re attending an event at their home.

One way you can stand out as a gentleman is by purchasing a gift that relates to a specific, niche interest they told you about.

This gift will not only be more valuable to them than the regular bottle of wine or box of chocolates, but it will send an important message.

That important message is that you listened to them.

The important message is that you care about their life, you care about their unique hobbies and interests. 

That message is just as generous a gift as anything you can buy at a store. 

And just because you are buying a specialist gift, it does not have to be expensive. 

For example, I mentioned handwritten letters earlier. If the person you are buying for likes to use a fountain pen, you could buy them a pot of specialist ink that they can use with their pen. 

V - Look Your Best For No Reason

The fourth little thing only a gentleman does is he dresses well and maintains a high standard of grooming every day. 

These days, many people exist in a slovenly state of sweatpants until they have a particular reason to put on proper clothes and groom themselves. 

However, a gentleman holds himself to a much higher standard. 

You deserve to look your best everyday

That doesn’t have to mean dressing formally or having an extensive grooming routine.

But whatever you are doing that day, always wear an outfit that makes you feel confident. 

Even at home, you should be dressed in a way that would cause you no embarrassment if you had an unexpected visitor. 

If you need help on creating your style and dressing well, you can enquire about my personal styling services.

VI - Carry a handkerchief

When’s the last time you saw a man pull out one of these white cotton hankies?

Brooks Brothers offers a fine set of 100% cotton handkerchiefs

It is a rare yet certain mark of a gentleman to carry a handkerchief. 

That’s because the handkerchief can be used to help others.

You can lend it to a lady who is upset, or use it to mop up a spillage. 

On a hot day, you can also mop your brow. Just please, never, EVER, blow your nose into a handkerchief.

Tissues were invented for a reason. 

You likely won’t have to use your handkerchief very often, but when a woman bursts into tears, or a spilled drink threatens to derail an evening, you’ll be very glad you had it. 

And the person whom you helped will remember you as their knight in shining armor.

VII - Pick up something they’ve dropped

Now I want to discuss a couple of small gestures you can do to help others. 

Next time you are in public and you notice that a woman or an elderly person has dropped something, bend down and pick it up for them. 

To give you a couple of recent examples, I was at a bar this weekend and a young woman I was talking with dropped her phone, so I bent down and picked it up for her. 

The other week, I was giving an elderly lady directions. She placed her walking stick against the wall of a building to retrieve something from her bag, and the stick slid down and fell to the ground. Of course, I bent down to retrieve it.

I do not pick up such objects for young, healthy men unless they do not notice that they have dropped them. 

In that case, it’s perfectly gentlemanly to say, ‘Excuse me, sir, I think you dropped this’ and hand it to them.

VIII - Carry Something Heavy

Another small way in which you can be a gentleman is to offer to carry something heavy for someone. 

A perfect example of this is carrying a woman’s suitcase up or down the stairs of the subway station.

I previously had a neighbor who lived in the top floor apartment above mine.

 The first time I saw him, he had a huge haul of groceries he was unloading from his car.

I helped him carry them inside, he gave me two bottles of wine as a thank you, and from then on, we had a great relationship where he had my phone number and I was always on hand to help him.

As you can see, there’s a very gentlemanly reason why you should go to the gym. 

IX - Never Reply When Angry

Digital communication is an important skill for the modern gentleman. 

One advantage of text, instant messaging, and email is that we have additional time to consider and compose our responses. 

The words you say can only be forgiven, not forgotten

Take this opportunity to cool down when caught in a craze of anger, irritability, or sadness. 

What you say via text will be there forever if the recipient chooses to reflect on your message, so it may be even more impactful than the spoken word.

So next time you are in a heated conversation, put the phone down and take a few minutes to calm down before sending your response. 

Or, type out your response and read it over after a few minutes before hitting send. 

X - Bring people together

Another little thing a gentleman does is he brings people together.

To be a social connector who enables new friendships is one of the greatest joys in lie. 

While this might not sound like a small task, it’s actually a habit that you can practice.

Meet a new friend who just moved to town? Proactively invite them to social events so they can meet new people.

At a party and meet two separate people who share the same love for golf, introduce them, and they’ll be teeing off together in no time. 

One thing I love most about the Gent Z meetups is not only that I get to meet a ton of cool new people, but that they get to meet each other too.

And I know some genuine friendships have come out of these events.

Speaking of the Gent Z meetups, we will soon have our first-ever meet-up in London, England.

RSVP here to receive your free event invite.

For those of you not in London, let me know in the comments which city you are in so I can plan ahead, and hopefully host a meetup event near you soon.